Toddlers and sleep

When people think of sleep training they often think of small babies. I think many people would be surprised how many people reach out to get advice/seek support for sleep issues relating to their toddlers. Parents seek support for all sorts of reasons but the most common ones are: their toddlers refuse to go to bed and most nights are a power struggle, they refuse to stay in their bed (once they transition out of a crib), or they start waking several times during the night or perhaps they never stopped waking through the night from infancy.

Toddlers are beginning to assert their independence which is a healthy, albeit sometimes frustrating, phase of parenting. Addressing the issues that arise with toddler sleep is very different from addressing sleep issues in a newborn. As toddlers push their independence, it is important for us adults to hold onto firm boundaries for them with a lot of love and empathy. We wouldn’t allow our toddlers to ride in the car without being strapped in as this is essential for their health and safety. When this boundary is held firmly and with consistency, it stops becoming an issue. I believe that sleep is essential for our children’s health and therefore we can set similar sleep boundaries. When they are held with consistency, it stops becoming an issue. This might sound simple, but it takes a clear plan, patience and consistency!

Toddlers are able to understand so much more than small babies can. Before making changes to sleep, it’s best to communicate with them about these upcoming changes. Depending on their age, it can be actually talking through what your expectations of them, how you need their sleep to change and why. This communication can also be done through role playing with dolls or stuffed animals. I also love telling young toddlers made up stories about young baby animals who are learning to sleep and dealing with some of the specific issues of the toddler. This type of story can be told over and over again for the week or two before you make shifts in their sleep routine.

So many parents struggle with difficulty at bedtime and it is a time of day with lots of conflict. My goal is always to help parents transform bedtime into a more peaceful experience that not only reduces conflict and but actually creates connection.