This is a terms that is used more and more now. It is simply the small ways that we help even newborn and infants learn to sleep independently.

As newborns, our babies need to be soothed as they were in the womb. They are held tightly by a swaddle, rocked or moved (car seat, stroller, or on the parent), they need gentle white noise and the sounds of shushing. All of these are comforting to them and helps them fall asleep and remain asleep. These types of comfort measures are essential to help babies adjust to life outside of the womb.

As babies get older (6-8 weeks), sleep shaping is simply the gentle act of beginning to do less of these movements and giving babies the space to try falling asleep on their own. If they can’t, then we are able to step in and help them the ways that they like to fall asleep best. Over and over we just give them the opportunity to attempt independent sleep. Sometimes it’s just that we do less or change the way they fall asleep. I’ll offer a few examples from families that I have worked with.

For example, if our baby falls asleep while we nurse them, then slowly beginning to nurse them earlier (before nap) and then when it’s time to sleep we can rock them or take them on a walk in the stroller until they are able to fall asleep in a different manner. Then from there we can keep working to decrease what we do to help them fall asleep. It’s a gentle process that can have multiple steps for some babies.

Another example, is a parent that always rocks their baby to sleep. Perhaps this parent can hold their baby while in the rocking chair but simply not rock at all or each day decrease the amount they are rocking. Eventually baby will be able to fall asleep while still in the parents’ arms. The next phase would be to help them fall asleep still but in a bassinet or crib.

Another way of sleep shaping is just to simply wait a few moments before responding to their cries. For example, if our babies wake from a nap, we just give them a few moments to see if perhaps they might fall back asleep on their own before we rush to get them. As a postpartum night doula I see this all the time. A baby begins to grunt and let out a few cries. I stand close by ready to pick them up if needed but I simply wait a bit. Often, they will then fall back asleep gently on their own and sleep another full sleep cycle or even another 15-20 minutes. We haven’t ignored their needs or let them cry - we just simply held back and waited a bit.

These are all examples of a gentle approach to sleep shaping or helping small babies learn to fall asleep on their own thereby laying the groundwork for better nighttime sleep.